i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
