'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont even know how to be here
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
