k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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