Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
