Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
