I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
