i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize