I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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