did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
