So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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