dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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