I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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