what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
