my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
