so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
COCAINE IS GR8
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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