rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
