This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
