even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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