Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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