So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
