I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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