I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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