You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
