I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
