She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
