If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
