So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
