Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
