Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
