Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
