Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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