Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
