if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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