I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
