i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
