wanna go halves on a baby?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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