I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
