In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I sprained my soul last night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
