Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
