let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
