I could make wine with my vomit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
