my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
