last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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