New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
