why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
