The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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