There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
