girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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