His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Terrible idea I love it
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize