We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
