like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
