she was so not down for the gang bang
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
