I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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