It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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