i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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