It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
