At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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