I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
