do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
