i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Found the puke drawer
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
