Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
