i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
