i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
