Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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